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A Letter From A Busy Working Dad

5/1/2017

1 Comment

 
Dear L-
 
Although we don’t always agree I do respect what you do and I am proud of you.  As a dad and husband, my girls (you included) are the most important things to me and I want you all to know that I am fully engaged in our family! 
 
It’s hard when I feel the pressure to financially support our family but at the same time make sure you and our daughters feel important.  It’s a balancing act that takes time and I need you to be patient.
 
There are some things though that I now know are important to our family, my own health, and how I want my girls to remember this time.
 
Here is what I know NOW:
 
There is always 20 minutes for dinner.  It was hard in the beginning to disconnect from work because I couldn’t stop wondering about what I was missing and how much I would have to catch up on after dinner. Once I got into the groove of this system, and actually put my phone away- I stopped feeling the PULL and realized how much more engaged I was in our dinner conversations.  I feel now, that I learn something new about our girls each night as we sit together and I know they will remember this time!
 
I have also discovered that the world doesn’t come crashing down when my clients don’t here back from me within 2 minutes.  But, I appreciate that when you know that I have a time sensitive deadline you can compromise and I can excuse myself from the table or situation.  It gives me a sense of peace knowing if I have to I can do what needs to be done. 
 
I also realized I can’t multitask the way I thought I could.  I thought I was fully present when physically my body was there.  I know now that I was missing a lot!  When the girls or you say, “remember when…. “ and I don’t.  I thought I could read my email and hear you but I was missing a lot!
 
I do sleep better.  You were right about this one (as much as I HATE to admit it).  Getting the devices out of our bedroom does work.  It’s not just the sleep though, it’s our time together that matters too.  I didn’t realize until we took the devices out that we had stopped talking.  Thank you for reminding me how much we enjoy each other’s company.
 
I’m not saying that I promise to never look at my phone while we are at a recital and our kids aren’t performing  - I know it bugs you but I am only human and can only be tortured so much :)
 
I can’t promise that I can and will ALWAYS put your needs and the needs of the girls before work.  But I can promise to respect our family’s values. 
 
I can excuse myself from the table if I need to connect, I can choose not to attend certain events if I know I can’t fully engage because of work.  Even though I still think my presence is more important that a few back-row, no one can see me texting moment, I know it bothers you and the girls and I will respect your feelings.
 
Love,
 
B-
1 Comment

    Lori Getz, M.A.

    Lori is a mother, educator and Internet Safety advocate.  She talks to families about healthy relationships with technology!

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