Dear L-
Although we don’t always agree I do respect what you do and I am proud of you. As a dad and husband, my girls (you included) are the most important things to me and I want you all to know that I am fully engaged in our family!
It’s hard when I feel the pressure to financially support our family but at the same time make sure you and our daughters feel important. It’s a balancing act that takes time and I need you to be patient.
There are some things though that I now know are important to our family, my own health, and how I want my girls to remember this time.
Here is what I know NOW:
There is always 20 minutes for dinner. It was hard in the beginning to disconnect from work because I couldn’t stop wondering about what I was missing and how much I would have to catch up on after dinner. Once I got into the groove of this system, and actually put my phone away- I stopped feeling the PULL and realized how much more engaged I was in our dinner conversations. I feel now, that I learn something new about our girls each night as we sit together and I know they will remember this time!
I have also discovered that the world doesn’t come crashing down when my clients don’t here back from me within 2 minutes. But, I appreciate that when you know that I have a time sensitive deadline you can compromise and I can excuse myself from the table or situation. It gives me a sense of peace knowing if I have to I can do what needs to be done.
I also realized I can’t multitask the way I thought I could. I thought I was fully present when physically my body was there. I know now that I was missing a lot! When the girls or you say, “remember when…. “ and I don’t. I thought I could read my email and hear you but I was missing a lot!
I do sleep better. You were right about this one (as much as I HATE to admit it). Getting the devices out of our bedroom does work. It’s not just the sleep though, it’s our time together that matters too. I didn’t realize until we took the devices out that we had stopped talking. Thank you for reminding me how much we enjoy each other’s company.
I’m not saying that I promise to never look at my phone while we are at a recital and our kids aren’t performing - I know it bugs you but I am only human and can only be tortured so much :)
I can’t promise that I can and will ALWAYS put your needs and the needs of the girls before work. But I can promise to respect our family’s values.
I can excuse myself from the table if I need to connect, I can choose not to attend certain events if I know I can’t fully engage because of work. Even though I still think my presence is more important that a few back-row, no one can see me texting moment, I know it bothers you and the girls and I will respect your feelings.
Love,
B-
Although we don’t always agree I do respect what you do and I am proud of you. As a dad and husband, my girls (you included) are the most important things to me and I want you all to know that I am fully engaged in our family!
It’s hard when I feel the pressure to financially support our family but at the same time make sure you and our daughters feel important. It’s a balancing act that takes time and I need you to be patient.
There are some things though that I now know are important to our family, my own health, and how I want my girls to remember this time.
Here is what I know NOW:
There is always 20 minutes for dinner. It was hard in the beginning to disconnect from work because I couldn’t stop wondering about what I was missing and how much I would have to catch up on after dinner. Once I got into the groove of this system, and actually put my phone away- I stopped feeling the PULL and realized how much more engaged I was in our dinner conversations. I feel now, that I learn something new about our girls each night as we sit together and I know they will remember this time!
I have also discovered that the world doesn’t come crashing down when my clients don’t here back from me within 2 minutes. But, I appreciate that when you know that I have a time sensitive deadline you can compromise and I can excuse myself from the table or situation. It gives me a sense of peace knowing if I have to I can do what needs to be done.
I also realized I can’t multitask the way I thought I could. I thought I was fully present when physically my body was there. I know now that I was missing a lot! When the girls or you say, “remember when…. “ and I don’t. I thought I could read my email and hear you but I was missing a lot!
I do sleep better. You were right about this one (as much as I HATE to admit it). Getting the devices out of our bedroom does work. It’s not just the sleep though, it’s our time together that matters too. I didn’t realize until we took the devices out that we had stopped talking. Thank you for reminding me how much we enjoy each other’s company.
I’m not saying that I promise to never look at my phone while we are at a recital and our kids aren’t performing - I know it bugs you but I am only human and can only be tortured so much :)
I can’t promise that I can and will ALWAYS put your needs and the needs of the girls before work. But I can promise to respect our family’s values.
I can excuse myself from the table if I need to connect, I can choose not to attend certain events if I know I can’t fully engage because of work. Even though I still think my presence is more important that a few back-row, no one can see me texting moment, I know it bothers you and the girls and I will respect your feelings.
Love,
B-
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